Anne Lister and the Secret Diary of the First Modern Lesbian

To add a touch of spice, about a sixth of the diary was written in code: numbers, algebraic symbols, and Greek letters were used to conceal parts of the content on certain pages. Whitbread rolled up her sleeves.

This wasn't the only surprise that document held. In the coded parts, Anne spoke about the women she slept with and how she did it; she carefully noted all the days she masturbated and which woman she thought about while doing so; she reported conversations about artificial phalluses she had with female friends and former lovers; she described her sexual encounters with women in detail, indicating how many orgasms each of them had, who enjoyed it more, and the method used. Furthermore, she declared what is probably her most famous line:

It seems we have on our hands a nearly five-million-word diary written by a Victorian-era woman who had plenty of sex with other ladies in full awareness of her actions. Predictably, an uproar ensued. Some historians declared that the diary was definitely a fake, that it couldn't be real, and that it should only be studied with the goal of confirming this hypothesis.

It wasn't fake at all.

Anne had a somewhat strange way of remembering her lovers. You know that Victorian nonsense of giving a lock of hair to a loved one so they can keep it and remember you forever? Well, Anne asked her conquests for a lock of... pubic hair.

But apart from what one might deduce from the pubic hair collection, and the fact that Anne had a very sweet manner with ladies, her intent wasn't to bag as many as possible. What Anne desired, yearned for, and actively sought until adulthood was a wife. Not a girlfriend, nor a romantic friend, nor a mistress. A wife with whom to share her home, expenses, and the rest of her life. Except that while looking for the right one, Anne hooked up with plenty of the wrong ladies.

The wrongest of them all was named Mariana Belcombe, an attractive and well-bred girl whom Anne met when she was nineteen years old. Lesbian legend has it that the two first saw each other at a party at a mutual friend's house and that Mariana was the one who approached Anne with Friday-night intentions. And Anne was thrilled, because Mariana was very gorgeous and she was nineteen with no filter. Moreover, Anne was used to being the one who made the first move, so that situation was an absolute novelty.

Anne and Mariana's story is long and tormented. They got together almost immediately and with great intensity, spending a few years making plans to live together, until one fine day Mariana officially got engaged to an older man. Anne did not take it well at all.

The icing on the cake came when Mariana transmitted a venereal disease she had caught from her husband. Anne lost her head over beautiful women, but the venereal disease, the contempt for her appearance, and Mariana's infidelity began to weigh heavier than her beauty. The two continued to sleep together from time to time, but it became increasingly clear to Anne that Mariana wasn't the wife she dreamed of.

When Anne returns to York in the early 1830s, she is thoroughly sick of married girlfriends and clandestine sex, and from the way she writes in her diaries, one notices she has become much more cynic, more cautious with her feelings, and wary of women who make eyes at her. She still desires what she has always wanted: a woman who wants to share her life with her. Right there in Halifax, a stone's throw from her, lives a rich heiress, Ann Walker, who is cultured, shy, and sweet, just the way Anne and the 19th century in general like them.

Anne decided to settle down and court Ann Walker, which was not easy at all given that the latter had numerous health problems, especially on a psychological level, including chronic depression, anxiety-related disorders, insomnia, night terrors, and a religious fanaticism that translated into deep-rooted homophobia. After a courtship studded with doubts, setbacks, and obstacles, Anne finally managed to ask Ann to formalize their union, when after a long period of anxiety and depression she was able to commit in full awareness of her actions.

A few days later they went to the Holy Trinity Church in York to present themselves before the priest and formalize their union in the eyes of the Church by receiving communion together.

It seems no one paid attention, but in 1834 Anne Lister married a woman in church.

The Holy Trinity Church can still be visited today, and inside is a commemorative plaque for the marriage of Anne Lister and Ann Walker. The Lister home, Shibden Hall, is also currently a museum dedicated to Anne and her ancestors, and can be visited along with the grounds and gardens she refurbished.

Unfortunately, a couple of years later, while preparing for a climb in the Caucasus, Anne died of fever at just forty-nine years old. It was a fairly sudden death, caused by an insect bite. Ann Walker took several months to return to York accompanied by the embalmed body of her wife so she could be buried at home along with the rest of the Lister family.

Anne Lister, the first modern lesbian. The first woman we know for certain recognized her attraction to other women as an essential and foundational part of her own identity.